Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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