before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize