so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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