My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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