Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Dear god my vagina.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
