never play flip cup with pint glasses
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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