Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
