I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
