I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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