That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
