If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
