Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We got so high we made milksteak
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
