five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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