Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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