i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
