I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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