If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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