yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
