I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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