this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
