why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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