he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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