you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
