I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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