i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
