this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm