So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night