you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize