just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
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She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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