Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
