So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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