it wasn't lemon gatorade
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize