i would punch a child for taco bell
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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