I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
