Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
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My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
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Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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