She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
