Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
