listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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