I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize