It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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