ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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