Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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