In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
