I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
