Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
