they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Houston, we have a squirter
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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