I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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