Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
