Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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