It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
