Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
