he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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