This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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