They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
