Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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