So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
