its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
