he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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