Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
