Kiss
Puke
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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