How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
