i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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