Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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