I feel great
I just peed on a car
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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