i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's shark week go big or go home
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
