Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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