Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
