Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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