Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Drunk is a universal language darling
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
