Do you still have your period?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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